At the moment, i am with the most beautiful guy. He is kind, loving, respectful, caring, funny, gorgeous, weird and has a passion for Christ. I could not ask for anything more from anyone.
All these relationships ending at first worried me. The "what ifs" and paranoia started because i couldn't bare the thought of not being with my boyfriend.
But then i remembered, the reason i am with him in the first place is because God placed him in my life at this time because we need each other. God has a purpose for our lives and at the moment his purpose is for us to be together for him. And the reason i can trust and know this is because of my love for God. Stronger than any love that i have felt or will feel for anyone. This passion and inexplainable feeling i have towards Jesus is amazing. He is where i first search for comfort and love, and i know every time i seek him..i find him. Because of this confidence in Jesus' love i can find his love in many things. People, places, art, music. Its not the same love, but a human love. A love that attempts to be the "loved with everlasting love" that God gives to each one of us.
I'm not scared of the future, and i won't try to second guess it. Because God has planned each day out for me. He knows what is to come, and the decisions i will make. He'll know if i'll last with my boyfriend and he knows what we'll do together to live out Jesus' love for others.
Now i've found my true source of love from the true "love" i can find love in someone special. and i do. I'm in love with this guy. and will be for a very very long time. I'm grateful to God for him and even in our sometimes trying circumstance, i can be thankful. Because Jesus has overcome the grave. He experienced true suffering and pain. My trials are quite pathetic in comparison. I praise God for everything he gives me. Lord, be enough for me. May he be enough for you.
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